Something I saw on Twitter the other day hit home to me.
‘When you have been disbelieved, dismissed and disregarded, maybe you stop telling.’
This is the reality of mental health.
What’s the point in signs up everywhere you go telling you to ask for help, when even if you ask you get told you’re not ill or that there actually is no service for your needs. Or better, when there is a service you find helpful, because it is helpful it must be bad for you and therefore the mental health team discharge you from it.
Who am I meant to talk to? Where am I meant to turn? The system is disjointed and in disrepair. You tell one person something and it’s not passed on. You find yourself repeating things again and again and again. And after a while, you start to feel hopeless. I’ve been abused and ignored so many times that I trust no one.
I have tried so hard to advocate since I found my online voice in 2012. I felt at one point that maybe I could help change things. But I despair.
I think I speak on behalf of many others with ongoing mental health problems, that I don’t want mental health awareness campaigns. Sadly most people know enough about mental health problems and don’t need to be made aware of them. I want help. Someone to support me with my needs. Someone to know how bad things are and talk to me about what I need.
I don’t need to be put on a ward and treated like a criminal. I don’t need to be threatened by the police and emergency services that I should have a MHAA and be locked away. I am and have always been open to help, yet being ignored has lead me here. To a place of complete hopelessness and helplessness.
There’s only a certain amount of mistreatment one person can take; and I’m at the limit.